It all began the night after Sam got home from his neighbor’s party- a big wedding reception for Willy’s oldest daughter, Cleo. Anybody who was anybody, from the little district in Jamaica was there for the extravaganza -lights strung up through the trees, tables and chairs cluttering the huge backyard property, and a DJ that kept the party rocking reggae until midnight. The best part for Sam was that the food and rum flowed freely, and he had starved himself all day so he would have enough room in his belly for the feast.

Sam had just drifted off to sleep that night, when he was awakened by a pain that felt like a sharp knife in his chest and belly.

Arguably, it could have had something to do with the large portions of pepper pot soup, curry goat, and jerk chicken that he had consumed that night, all laced with a generous amount of Scotch Bonnet pepper.

His wife, Lucinda, was only too happy to remind him of his excessive overeating. She hauled herself out of bed to make him a steaming cup of peppermint tea.

”I told you not to eat so much. You too greedy! Not to mention all the Red Stripe beer and overproof white rum you was drinking. What did you expect?”

But two hours later, he was still moaning and groaning. In fact, it seemed like the pain had only got worse. Sam was curled up in a ball, clutching his chest. It scared Lucinda so bad, that she decided to take him to the hospital.

“No mon,” Sam cried weakly. “It not dat bad.”

“It could be a heart attack, Sam. Put on you clothes and make sure you have on you good underwear.”

Sam didn't look convinced. “No! It'll be over my dead body before I go to de hospital.”

An hour later, he was at the hospital, checking in.

When they got to the local hospital and told the nurse what he had eaten, she rolled her eyes, and calmly directed him behind a curtain to take off his clothes and put on a gown. Sam hollered from behind the curtain.

“Something wrong wid this gown, Nurse. It have a rip diwn the back.”

“No, that's how it’s supposed to be,” Nurse replied.

“But I going to catch a bad cold in here, Nurse. Me whole backside is outside and I feel a draft. And the air conditioning in here is freezing.”

“Stop complaining, Mr. Simmonds and sit on the bed. I need to draw your blood and start an IV.”

Sam’s eyes were bulging out of his head when he saw the needle and all the different colored tubes laying on the table.

“Just how much blood you planning to take? And wid that long needle? Lord, have mercy!”

The nurse was growing impatient, and she pursed her lips. “Sir, you are not my only patient. I have others sicker than you, so I'd appreciate your cooperation.”

“Please excuse him, Nurse!” Lucinda intervened. “This is the first time for him in a hospital. Sam, stop you foolishness and make de nurse do her job! You acting like a child!”

They put him on a heart monitor and gave him some medication but the pain was so severe, they decided to keep him overnight and run further tests.

“What they keeping me in here for?” Sam asked Lucinda as they put him in a room.”They said it wasn't a heart attack.”

“Hush! Don't you see how much pain you in? You must stay and let dem find out what wrong wid you. Me wi come back and check on you tomorrow.” But Lucinda had a very concerned look on her face.

The next morning, Sam got up hungry but on the tray next to him was tea, chicken broth, and jello. He tossed it aside and refused to eat.

When the nurse came in to take his vitals, he complained loudly.

“Wid all the money that these hospitals charge nowadays, you couldn't provide some proper, hot Jamaican breakfast?”

The nurse looked confused. “Oh no! It's not for you. This is for the gentleman in the next bed. You cannot eat or drink as per doctor's orders until they figure out what's wrong with you. You get IV fluids for breakfast.”

Sam was very glad when Aunt Dee showed up with her huge tote bag and unwrapped the foil from a plateful of ackee and saltfish, with some green banana. Sam got a huge, toothy grin but as he got ready to put the fork into the plate, Dr. Grant walked in. After taking the scene in, she knit her eyebrows and handed the plate back to Aunt Dee.

“Listen, I was only trying to help, Doctor. I remember from when I was in hospital last year how bad the food was. A person could starve in here so I was only trying to help my nephew out.” Aunt Dee said, defending her actions.

Dr. Grant glared at Aunt Dee, but after deciding that the lady's comment did not justify an answer, turned to Sam disapprovingly. “Mr. Simmonds, I thought the nurse made it clear to you that you were NPO. That means nothing to eat or drink, especially what was on that plate. I would say that your poor choices in your diet are what landed you here in the first place. We will be doing an endoscopy later to see what is causing your severe pain.”

“But Doctor, you don't have to put yourself to all that trouble. I know you have some magic pills that I could just take at home. I promise I will eat better. It was just because I eat so much at the wedding…”

The doctor folded her arms as she said, “You still need the test! You might have an ulcer.”

Lloyd, Sam’s coworker, stopped by at 9:30am.

“Bwoy, Sam, sorry to hear you sick, mon. We real busy at the Franklin job but I had to come see you. You know, I think you just drink too much last night- that cheap white rum at the wedding. What you need is a shot of overproof white rum to clean it out of your system. Drink up, mon, before de nurse come back!”

Lloyd produced a flask from his back pocket and Sam, desperate to calm the ever increasing pain in his belly, grabbed it and took a huge gulp. He immediately felt an intense burning as it went down his throat and quickly gave it back to Lloyd just as the nurse came in. The nurse sniffed a few times and looked around suspiciously.

As she checked his vitals, she said, “I swear I smell alcohol in this room and on your breath.”

But Sam couldn't answer as he was too busy bounding out of bed, dragging the IV pole behind him and heading to the bathroom to vomit.

Roy, Sam’s best friend, peeked his head in at noon.

“Sam, you look terrible, mon! Lucinda call me this morning. How your stomach doing?”

“The pain still bad, Roy. No relief!”

“I wonder if somebody poison you… You know that they say Willy was still vex wid you and holding a grudge for killing him goat and then eating it.”

“For your information, I didn't know dat was his goat and if you have a goat, it is your responsibility to tie it up good in your yard so it don't go wandering the streets. But Roy, you really think it's poison?”

“Well, the man hasn't talked to you in two months and all of a sudden, you get a wedding invitation?”

—

Sam thought back to two months ago when he was driving back from trying to collect the money owed him from Mr. Brown. He had finished the painting and carpentry work three weeks ago- and still no money. He was speeding down the gravel road that led to his house in his faded blue 1997 Toyota RAV4. He was hot and hopping mad– hot because the the air conditioner no longer worked in the car and agitated because he had driven all that way, wasted his gas, only to be told next Tuesday.

Lucinda was already mad at him when he left the house that morning as she said she had no money to go to the supermarket and nothing for dinner. She also gave him a lecture on how to be a proper businessman, and to collect at least half of the money before he started the job.

He did not notice the goat crossing the road until the car was almost upon him. He slammed on his brakes, but between the fact that both the brakes and the bald tires needed replacing, he could not stop in time and down went the goat.

Sam jumped out of the car to check the goat. It was a pitiful mess, not moving and blood everywhere. It had a ring of silk pink and white flowers around its broken neck. Sam looked around. No one else had seen what happened. He was sorry he had killed someone else's goat but the unwritten rule was, that if you let your goat wander from your yard and it got run over, it was that person's goat to eat. He even justified himself by saying this was a gift from God as Lucinda said they had nothing to eat for dinner. So he lifted it into the trunk of the car and took it home.

Lucinda was enthralled and Sam got busy cleaning the goat so they could have curry goat for dinner that night.

At dusk, Sam heard a knock at the door and opened it up to see Willy from down the street.

“Sorry to bother you, Sam, but I was wondering if you saw a goat around here- black and white with a wreath of flowers hanging around her neck.”

Sam swallowed hard and denied he had seen the goat. Willy explained that he had bought the goat to fatten it up for the upcoming wedding of his oldest daughter, Cleo. His twin seven year old girls, Pauline and Pearline had fallen in love with the goat and named it Daisy. They even made her a necklace of flowers. Now Daisy was missing and the girls were in tears, crying and inconsolable.

“Maybe Miss Lucinda saw Daisy. Can you ask her for me? “ Willy asked.

Sam slipped into the kitchen, but the delicious aroma of simmering curry goat escaped as Lucinda stirred the pot. He pretended to ask her, before quickly returning.

“No, she didn't see the goat. Sorry, mon!”

Willy eyed the kitchen. “What she cooking? You butcher a goat? It smell like curry goat!“

“No. Just some curry chicken. Good luck with the goat.”

Willy went through the open door, looking back at Sam, suspiciously, walking around and slowly inspecting Sam’s car, before heading down the road.

—

Sam was jerked back to the present as Roy was saying his goodbyes.

“Whatever happens, don't let them cut you!”

“Cut me?” Sam looked scared.

“Like surgery! I hear they remove parts and sell it to America for transplant,” Roy said

Lucinda came in and slapped Roy on the back of his head. The man in the next bed stirred. He had been sleeping all day.

“What's that you say? They taking my gallbladder tomorrow,” the man asked.

“I wouldn't do it,” Roy said smugly. “They going to sell it to America.”

“Don't listen to him, sir! “ Lucinda warned. “He don't know nothing! He just ignorant! Roy, I think is time for you to leave. Out!”

Sam got quiet. He tried to get comfortable but the pain was annoying. He complained that he did not even feel hungry anymore, which was highly unusual for Sam.

A young man in scrubs entered the room.

“Sam Simmonds?”

“Who want to know? “ Sam said warily.

“Yes, it's him! “ Lucinda snapped.

“I'm here to take you to the operating room for your procedure. Let me check your wristband and help get you on this stretcher, sir,” the young man smiled.

A scared Sam appealed to Lucinda. “I don't want them to cut me and sell my parts to America!”

But before Lucinda could say a word, he hopped off the bed, grabbed his IV pole and headed down the hallway- barefooted, and with his gown flapping in the wind, revealing his behind for all the world to see. Security tried to catch him, but in his heyday, he was quite the track star and his old teammates now compared him to Usain Bolt. Down the stairs he went, through the Emergency Room with people shouting and staring. Through the automatic doors of the Emergency Room he raced at full speed, only to be hit by an arriving ambulance.

As he lay there groaning, thoughts rushed through his head. Am I dead? Was I poisoned? Which of my body parts will be sold to America? Lord, if you let me live, I will never touch Scotch Bonnet pepper or overproof white rum again.

Lucky for Sam, except for a few abrasions and a broken foot, he was fine. Lucinda stood, glaring at him and shaking her head while his foot was being casted.

Willy, his neighbor, came at 5pm. He entered the room, eyeing Sam’s cast.

“I thought it was because of your belly that you came to the hospital.”

Sam smiled sheepishly. “It was, but it seems like I had a little complication.”

Willy raised his eyebrows and checked to see if he was alone. He walked over and sat by the bed. He proceeded to speak slowly in a harsh whisper.

“They broke your foot when they did the endoscopy? That sound real strange to me. You should sue! Too bad! You had such a good time at the wedding. You must have had six plates of curry goat. Didn't you wonder how come I made sure to bring you all your food personally? And poor Daisy! She never lived to see the wedding. I knew it was you all along. I saw the blood on your front fender. I smell my girls’ goat cooking in your kitchen. So I made sure I sprinkle a little poison on whatever you eat last night. Next time, you'll think twice before you kill, thief and eat a goat that don't belong to you. Mark my words! “

All the blood drained from Sam's face and he started sweating profusely. As Willy turned to make a quick exit, he laid a large plastic container on his bedside table. Sam started screaming for Lucinda. She came rushing in.

“Lucinda! I know what's wrong with me! Willy poisoned me!”

Lucinda shook her head and hissed her teeth. “Sam, stop you foolishness! No one tried to poison you! You got to stop listening to those ignorant friends of yours. The only thing wrong with you is gluttony! I saw Willy leaving and he told me he left some curry goat in the container by your bedside, so you can have it when you get home and feel better. Wasn't that nice?”

Sam rolled over moaning and clutching his belly. “No, no goat! He trying to finish me off and kill me. I'm telling you, Lucinda,I swear off curry goat forever!”

Published July 6, 2026
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.